Last year, one of Andre's good friends was diagnosed with advanced bone cancer. Even as he underwent surgery and juggled chemotherapy, he insisted on attending school when he could. The school arranged for his classes to be moved to the ground floor so he could get around more easily and he is determined to sit for the PSLE with his friends this year.
Just before he was diagnosed, he had come over to our home to play with Andre and so when I heard the news, it struck me pretty hard. It's difficult to believe the active, happy child (with the most gorgeous dimples) I had just seen running around like any other 11-year-old boy should suddenly be afflicted by such a nefarious disease.
Whenever I hear of such cases, I feel like I'm being doused with a bucket of reality check. It hits home especially when it's not the vague image of some unknown, hypothetical child, but is actually happening to someone you know. It's sobering and there's always the nagging question "why them, God?" Then inevitably, there will be the chilling realisation that such a misfortune can befall anyone, which will trigger the pressing, secret plea, "please not us, God."
Because it's difficult enough being the friend of someone going through such a trial, we simply cannot imagine being that parent, having to deal with such unbearable anguish. Sometimes God's design seems so random that we're tempted to try and manipulate or bargain with Him, so that our kids can bypass all the major calamities in life.
In another instance, Andre's best friend successfully overcame leukemia as a young child and looking at this strapping, boisterous boy now, you would never be able to tell he suffered from this disorder. But according to his mother, when he encounters pain in his limbs, he would still ask her with trepidation, "is it the cancer coming back?"
It's not unusual to be moved by such experiences, particularly if the kids fight their conditions with such courage and spirit, as I've witnessed. For me though, the biggest takeaway is that of perspective. Even as we parents angst over our kids' inability to ace an exam, get into the top school or enter some special programme, there are other parents who would rejoice over something as simple as their kids being able to run, to go to school, or to live to see adulthood.
I will clarify though, that I don't subscribe to the "there are always people less fortunate than you" mentality because it implies we should not aim to live beyond the lowest denominator.
Having said that, there's something to be said about appreciating what you have. When we hear of the plight of others, it's not for us to rejoice over how lucky we are in comparison, but to pause and remember how much our kids are a blessing to us. Then we'll scream less at our kids over their minor misdemeanours, annoying habits or unsatisfactory test results because in the larger scheme of things, these blips really are insignificant.
The next time we're unhappy with our kids and think "if only...", it might help us to remember that for some parents, the "if only..." is much more basic and urgent.
Go hug your kids today.
Selasa, 10 April 2012
Selasa, 03 April 2012
Let's talk character education
A few weeks ago, the Minister for Education announced a new Edusave Character Award scheme where students who demonstrate good character will be given cash rewards.
I know this post is tardy, many people have already openly voiced their views on this. I've been procrastinating, maybe because even though I'm disappointed, to say the least, I wasn't terribly surprised by the news. (Hey look, two prepositions side by side. I'm sure it's grammatically wrong but I'm too lazy to look up the right form).
In other words, the move is so in character with MOE policies that I couldn't even muster up enough indignation to write an immediate response. So why am I writing one now? Well, last week, a friend of mine and I met up with a graduate student from the LKY School of Policy Studies who's organising a dialogue on character education in schools, and the discussion that followed was interesting enough to nudge me out of my lethargy.
So here are my (belated) views on character education. I've added sub-headers cos it's a long post.
A reward system undermines character building
Primarily, why I'm against cash rewards for displays of good character is this: values are about doing something that's intrinsically good, done for its own sake. If you do it for a reward, it automatically negates the value of that deed. It's the difference between a social worker who volunteers at a nursing home and the nursing home employee.
Child psychologists warn against giving rewards for something that the child should do anyway. For example, if you always reward a child for his eating vegetables, he'll be conditioned to think that eating vegetables is an undesirable thing and he deserves something in return for doing it.
That's exactly what is happening here. By offering a reward system, we're teaching our children that doing the right thing entitles them to a payoff. Take away the reward and there's no more motivation to be compassionate, tell the truth or stand up for others.
Ironically, by offering rewards for character, we are weakening, not strengthening the message that character is important.
In an attempt to be fair, I looked up MOE's response to the issue. This was part of their official statement:
I'm not saying that all these kids are necessarily brown-nosers, some of them are truly good souls. What I'm saying is that these kids have already been given ample recognition in their schools. They don't need further motivation. The ones whom we've missed all along - the rowdy boy who patiently cares for his ailing grandmother or the mousy girl in the corner who helps her friends without advertising to all and sundry - these are the kids who will continue to be overlooked.
Basically, we're not enlarging the pool of kids who will be recognised, we're just rewarding the same pool of kids more. As my friend Lilian said, at this rate, some of those prefects would have amassed enough cash to go to Europe by the time they graduate from p6.
Limitations of CCE lessons
Instead of an award, what I think we need is an overhaul of the Civics and Moral Education (CME) classes (now renamed Character & Citizenship Education or CCE). Right now, these lessons are a joke. In the first place, these periods are usually usurped for examinable subjects. Every year, I can count on my kids bringing home their CME textbooks and workbooks clean and untouched.
Even in the odd instance where there is a CCE lesson, the kids find it incredibly boring. First, for some strange reason, the lessons are taught in Mother Tongue. And we are all familiar with the very moralistic Chinese stories. Listening to the teacher drone on about filial piety or patriotism will hardly inspire you to be a model of good behaviour.
I think what MOE needs to realise is that character education cannot be confined to one period in a week, it has to be a pervasive part of the school culture. Otherwise, it's as effective as the self-proclaimed Christian who goes to church every Sunday and then acts in an ungodly manner for the rest of the week.
Added note: Lesley-Anne just informed me that for her CCE class, she has to write essays in Chinese based on values taught in the class. And her conduct grade is partially based on how well she writes the essay! Doesn't the school find this odd?
There are simply limitations to learning character from a lesson in the classroom. Most kids already know what is good behaviour, the challenge is translating the knowledge into action. The only effective way to build character is to experience, to share, to do.
For example, Lilian's sons attend an international school overseas. The school regularly organises community service trips to places like Operation Smile and Habitat for Humanity where the kids help out in a very direct way. These trips are not free (in fact, they're quite costly) and you have to apply for them, not everyone who applies will be successful. The message is that helping others in need is not just part and parcel of life, it's a privilege.
Compare this with our system where kids expect to get CCA points for community service and now, cash rewards. What kind of characters are we hoping to develop?
Moving character education out of the classroom
I have two suggestions for character education in schools:
Singapore has always said we want to create a gracious society. We need to put our money where our mouth is. It takes all - parents, schools, society. As it is, I'm appalled some parents have complained that the 6-hour minimum requirement for community service for secondary school students is too much. We need to reverse this me-mentality. It's a slippery slope and I'm afraid we've already started on the slide downwards.
I know this post is tardy, many people have already openly voiced their views on this. I've been procrastinating, maybe because even though I'm disappointed, to say the least, I wasn't terribly surprised by the news. (Hey look, two prepositions side by side. I'm sure it's grammatically wrong but I'm too lazy to look up the right form).
In other words, the move is so in character with MOE policies that I couldn't even muster up enough indignation to write an immediate response. So why am I writing one now? Well, last week, a friend of mine and I met up with a graduate student from the LKY School of Policy Studies who's organising a dialogue on character education in schools, and the discussion that followed was interesting enough to nudge me out of my lethargy.
So here are my (belated) views on character education. I've added sub-headers cos it's a long post.
A reward system undermines character building
Primarily, why I'm against cash rewards for displays of good character is this: values are about doing something that's intrinsically good, done for its own sake. If you do it for a reward, it automatically negates the value of that deed. It's the difference between a social worker who volunteers at a nursing home and the nursing home employee.
Child psychologists warn against giving rewards for something that the child should do anyway. For example, if you always reward a child for his eating vegetables, he'll be conditioned to think that eating vegetables is an undesirable thing and he deserves something in return for doing it.
That's exactly what is happening here. By offering a reward system, we're teaching our children that doing the right thing entitles them to a payoff. Take away the reward and there's no more motivation to be compassionate, tell the truth or stand up for others.
Ironically, by offering rewards for character, we are weakening, not strengthening the message that character is important.
In an attempt to be fair, I looked up MOE's response to the issue. This was part of their official statement:
"The Edusave Character Award will recognise a small number of students in each school who are exemplary in character, and who can inspire others as role models. For instance, these may be students who have shown resilience and have done well despite their difficult circumstances."See, I understand that MOE's intention is good. But I can already predict how this will play out. Because the scheme depends entirely on the teachers to identify the good kids and the acts of good behaviour, in the end, the rewards will go to the usual suspects - the prefects, the popular kids, the teachers' pets (usually the ones who do well academically).
I'm not saying that all these kids are necessarily brown-nosers, some of them are truly good souls. What I'm saying is that these kids have already been given ample recognition in their schools. They don't need further motivation. The ones whom we've missed all along - the rowdy boy who patiently cares for his ailing grandmother or the mousy girl in the corner who helps her friends without advertising to all and sundry - these are the kids who will continue to be overlooked.
Basically, we're not enlarging the pool of kids who will be recognised, we're just rewarding the same pool of kids more. As my friend Lilian said, at this rate, some of those prefects would have amassed enough cash to go to Europe by the time they graduate from p6.
Limitations of CCE lessons
Instead of an award, what I think we need is an overhaul of the Civics and Moral Education (CME) classes (now renamed Character & Citizenship Education or CCE). Right now, these lessons are a joke. In the first place, these periods are usually usurped for examinable subjects. Every year, I can count on my kids bringing home their CME textbooks and workbooks clean and untouched.
Even in the odd instance where there is a CCE lesson, the kids find it incredibly boring. First, for some strange reason, the lessons are taught in Mother Tongue. And we are all familiar with the very moralistic Chinese stories. Listening to the teacher drone on about filial piety or patriotism will hardly inspire you to be a model of good behaviour.
I think what MOE needs to realise is that character education cannot be confined to one period in a week, it has to be a pervasive part of the school culture. Otherwise, it's as effective as the self-proclaimed Christian who goes to church every Sunday and then acts in an ungodly manner for the rest of the week.
Added note: Lesley-Anne just informed me that for her CCE class, she has to write essays in Chinese based on values taught in the class. And her conduct grade is partially based on how well she writes the essay! Doesn't the school find this odd?
There are simply limitations to learning character from a lesson in the classroom. Most kids already know what is good behaviour, the challenge is translating the knowledge into action. The only effective way to build character is to experience, to share, to do.
For example, Lilian's sons attend an international school overseas. The school regularly organises community service trips to places like Operation Smile and Habitat for Humanity where the kids help out in a very direct way. These trips are not free (in fact, they're quite costly) and you have to apply for them, not everyone who applies will be successful. The message is that helping others in need is not just part and parcel of life, it's a privilege.
Compare this with our system where kids expect to get CCA points for community service and now, cash rewards. What kind of characters are we hoping to develop?
Moving character education out of the classroom
I have two suggestions for character education in schools:
1) Instead of the textbook lessons on CCE, make them hands-on, community service sessions. Each school, level or class can work with a specific organisation (can be welfare, social or environmental) for this. Eg. if the class adopts an orphanage, every week (or once in two weeks), the kids would visit the orphanage to help out for an hour or so.Some people may say character is not just about community service. Of course not. But I feel that in Singapore's context, compassion, empathy and kindness are what's most urgently needed. The other character traits like diligence and resilience are too closely affiliated to achievement for my liking - we already emphasise too much of them. Want to build diligence? Why, just do a few more assessment books.
It's a win-win situation - charity organisations prefer regular volunteers to those who just show up every Christmas or CNY. The volunteers form bonds with the residents and there's continuity in whatever project is being carried out. For the kids, the benefits are tremendous. The sense of fulfilment and gratification in being able to directly help somebody cannot be overstated.
Research shows that kids who perform community service tasks from young have a much higher tendency to continue them into adulthood. Imagine the impact of every school-going child performing a hands-on community service task every week - to the recipients, to society and to the kids themselves.
2) Schools these days organise myriads of overseas trips for students. But I notice that all of them are for the sake of experience and learning, again me, me, me. Why can't we also include in the offering, community service trips like the ones I mentioned above?
If we say character education is important, we need to back this up in our school programmes. They can't be compulsory of course, but they would send the message - go overseas and make a difference in someone's life.
Sure, some parents may feel why must we spend money for our kids to give back but this is precisely the mindset we want to change.
Singapore has always said we want to create a gracious society. We need to put our money where our mouth is. It takes all - parents, schools, society. As it is, I'm appalled some parents have complained that the 6-hour minimum requirement for community service for secondary school students is too much. We need to reverse this me-mentality. It's a slippery slope and I'm afraid we've already started on the slide downwards.
"Character is the result of two things: mental attitude and the way we spend our time." - Elbert Green Hubbard
Rabu, 28 Maret 2012
Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
Incidentally, the title is from the theme song of an oldie but goodie tv series Frasier.
Kenneth and I love all-day breakfasts. One of the unbeatable advantages of being our own bosses is that our schedules are pretty flexible. There's something very decadent about having brunch at 10am on a weekday, accompanied by a pot of tea or steaming hot latte. It's just a lovely way to start the day.
We don't usually go anywhere fancy but during the March holidays, we decided to treat the kids to the all-day breakfast at Prive at Keppel Bay.
On weekends, this place is packed, I recommend making reservations if you don't want to be disappointed. There's an indoor restaurant and an al fresco area overlooking the bay, which is very scenic. I suggest the latter if you're here for breakfast or brunch, before it gets too warm.
You can see the Prive menu here. We have only eaten here twice and both times, we picked from the all-day breakfast menu so I can't comment on the other items.
These are the items we've tried:
Prive's Ultimate Brekkie - 2 eggs any style, bacon, sausage, mushrooms, hashbrown and toast $20. Not bad value, it's more brunch than breakfast considering the size of the portion.
Bananalicious French Toast - brioche with caramelised bananas and walnuts $12. This is very well done. The bananas and walnuts complement the french toast perfectly. If I had a complaint, it would be that the portion is too small - left me wanting more!
Eggs Royal - English muffins with smoked salmon and 2 poached eggs with Hollandaise sauce $16. This is the unanimous favourite for all four of us. The eggs are cooked just the way I like it - the yolk slightly runny but the white not weepy.
Yum...
When we were there, Prive was having a DBS card promotion of 50% off the 2nd order of Eggs Royal or Eggs Benedict (only on weekdays though). If you can spare the time, it's a pretty good deal.
Kenneth and I love all-day breakfasts. One of the unbeatable advantages of being our own bosses is that our schedules are pretty flexible. There's something very decadent about having brunch at 10am on a weekday, accompanied by a pot of tea or steaming hot latte. It's just a lovely way to start the day.We don't usually go anywhere fancy but during the March holidays, we decided to treat the kids to the all-day breakfast at Prive at Keppel Bay.
On weekends, this place is packed, I recommend making reservations if you don't want to be disappointed. There's an indoor restaurant and an al fresco area overlooking the bay, which is very scenic. I suggest the latter if you're here for breakfast or brunch, before it gets too warm.
You can see the Prive menu here. We have only eaten here twice and both times, we picked from the all-day breakfast menu so I can't comment on the other items.These are the items we've tried:
Prive's Ultimate Brekkie - 2 eggs any style, bacon, sausage, mushrooms, hashbrown and toast $20. Not bad value, it's more brunch than breakfast considering the size of the portion.
Bananalicious French Toast - brioche with caramelised bananas and walnuts $12. This is very well done. The bananas and walnuts complement the french toast perfectly. If I had a complaint, it would be that the portion is too small - left me wanting more!
Eggs Royal - English muffins with smoked salmon and 2 poached eggs with Hollandaise sauce $16. This is the unanimous favourite for all four of us. The eggs are cooked just the way I like it - the yolk slightly runny but the white not weepy.
Yum...When we were there, Prive was having a DBS card promotion of 50% off the 2nd order of Eggs Royal or Eggs Benedict (only on weekdays though). If you can spare the time, it's a pretty good deal.
Rabu, 21 Maret 2012
Song and dance
This was a crazy March holidays for Lesley-Anne, if you could call it a holiday at all. As luck would have it, Lesley-Anne's ballet exam fell on a Thursday, the day right after her Grade 8 piano exam. A couple of years ago, she'd faced the same situation and I'd written about the stress of it all. Funny how we never seem to learn from our past!
As if that's not challenging enough, Lesley-Anne had to be at Outward Bound Singapore (OBS) for the entire week just before the exams. This was unplanned for and I was apprehensive just thinking about all the injuries she might come home with. To be honest though, it was less about the hurt and more about having to miss the exams. "Don't you dare sprain your ankles, wrists or fingers!" I warned. Yeah, me the warm and fuzzy mum.
She had a whale of a time at OBS, which surprised me as she is as un-outdoorsy as they come. Even though she had to kayak for 7 hours straight and trek for 6 hours carrying a 15kg backpack, she really enjoyed herself. I guess being independent in the outdoors, having to look after yourself without the comfort of home, does something to boost your self-confidence. I think it's a fantastic experience.
Thankfully too, she came back unscathed, except for some mosquito bites and scabs, so the ballet exam could proceed as scheduled.
Lesley-Anne took her Grade 6 ballet exam this year. The usual preparations:
Doing up the hair in a stiff, immobilised bun.
Polishing her shoes.
This is Lesley-Anne's exam group, comprising four girls. In higher grades, you wear a chiffon skirt over your leotard (except for barre exercises).
These are the Polish character skirts.
Finally, the nail-biting wait outside the exam room. You would have thought the girls would be used to this, having been through many previous exams, but nooo.... they were pretty jittery.
Last minute instructions from the teacher.
According to Lesley-Anne, the exam didn't quite go quite as impeccably as they'd hoped. She described it as a comedy of errors with each girl taking turns to make mistakes, prompting mistakes by the other three.
But it's over! Finally, she could enjoy what's left of the holidays, and what better way to celebrate than with a tall, cold glass of Milo.
I think my daughter is growing up to be a gorgeous girl :)
As if that's not challenging enough, Lesley-Anne had to be at Outward Bound Singapore (OBS) for the entire week just before the exams. This was unplanned for and I was apprehensive just thinking about all the injuries she might come home with. To be honest though, it was less about the hurt and more about having to miss the exams. "Don't you dare sprain your ankles, wrists or fingers!" I warned. Yeah, me the warm and fuzzy mum.
She had a whale of a time at OBS, which surprised me as she is as un-outdoorsy as they come. Even though she had to kayak for 7 hours straight and trek for 6 hours carrying a 15kg backpack, she really enjoyed herself. I guess being independent in the outdoors, having to look after yourself without the comfort of home, does something to boost your self-confidence. I think it's a fantastic experience.
Thankfully too, she came back unscathed, except for some mosquito bites and scabs, so the ballet exam could proceed as scheduled.
Lesley-Anne took her Grade 6 ballet exam this year. The usual preparations:
Doing up the hair in a stiff, immobilised bun.
Polishing her shoes.
This is Lesley-Anne's exam group, comprising four girls. In higher grades, you wear a chiffon skirt over your leotard (except for barre exercises).
These are the Polish character skirts.
Finally, the nail-biting wait outside the exam room. You would have thought the girls would be used to this, having been through many previous exams, but nooo.... they were pretty jittery.
Last minute instructions from the teacher.
According to Lesley-Anne, the exam didn't quite go quite as impeccably as they'd hoped. She described it as a comedy of errors with each girl taking turns to make mistakes, prompting mistakes by the other three.But it's over! Finally, she could enjoy what's left of the holidays, and what better way to celebrate than with a tall, cold glass of Milo.
I think my daughter is growing up to be a gorgeous girl :)
Rabu, 14 Maret 2012
Piano player
Yesterday, Lesley-Anne sat for her piano practical exam. What's different about this one is that it's the last piano exam she'll ever take - Grade 8. It also marks the end of piano lessons for her since she doesn't intend to move on to the diploma level.It's a momentous milestone, considering she has been learning the piano since she was 5... or 2/3 of her life. For the longest time, it seemed as if she would never reach this point. And while reaching Grade 8 in piano is hardly the end goal of learning music, it's definitely an achievement of sorts.
Ultimately though, working towards music exams is just a way for you to improve your skills. What's more important is how you use them. For the past couple of years especially, I've noticed that Lesley-Anne has enjoyed playing the piano more - she looks for sheet music for her favourite songs and tries out new pieces on her own. Her growing interest in music is what I'm most gratified about. (Well, next to the fact that I wouldn't have to chauffeur her for piano lessons anymore. Have I mentioned that I hate driving?)
So this marks the end of one chapter in her life. It's a long but fulfilling one, hopefully it won't stop here.
I recorded Lesley-Anne's playing her Grade 8 exam pieces as a keepsake for her. The first piece is Sonata in B minor Kp27 by Scarlatti. This was supposed to be her best piece but she says she flubbed it during the exam. Ah well, stuff happens.
The second piece is Sonata in D K284: Allegro by Mozart, a whopping 8 pages. When she practises this piece, she can't practise anything else cos it's so darn long and tiring on the fingers!
The third piece is my absolute favourite - Novelette in Fourths by Gershwin. It's so pretty and jazzy, it makes me happy.
Thank you, Mrs Chua!
Kamis, 08 Maret 2012
Death by tuition
I've always maintained that our education system and over-reliance on tuition is getting out of hand but a few New Paper articles I've read lately convinced me that we've officially entered Loony Toons levels. Here they are:
Parent pays nearly $6,000 a month in tuition fees
Parents hire tutors do do kids school and tuition assignments
Kids take test to qualify for top tuition centres
From reading these articles, it would seem like yesterday's deplorable is actually mild by today's standards.
Yesterday: Kids mugging to qualify for top schools
Today: Kids mugging to qualify for top tuition centres
Yesterday: Parents hiring tutors to help their children do homework
Today: Parents hiring tutors to do their children's homework
In fact, as I write the last one, it has already become obsolete, replaced by a new normal:
Yesterday: Parents hiring tutors to do their children's homework
Today: Parents hiring tutors to do their children's tuition homework
So basically, we now need tuition to keep up with tuition? Am I the only one who thinks we have completely lost the plot?
The tuition culture has become so commonplace that even teachers have come to use it as a crutch. A friend of mine told me her son's Chinese teacher asked her to hire a tutor for kid. I've even heard an anecdote where a teacher asked the kids to get their tutors to check the homework before handing it up.
Andre's science teacher is probably an exception. She told me, "don't give him tuition! Sometimes they teach the wrong thing. I'll teach all that he needs to know." She's a lovely teacher and I obeyed. Well, sort of. Andre does have a science tutor - it's me. Does that count?
It really irks me how some of these tuition centres blatantly boast about the top scores of their students, when they do screening tests to take in only the top students in the first place. I might as well put birds in a cage and then claim that I taught them how to fly.
But what concerns me more is the type of values that are emerging from this tuition culture. What was once supposed to be a source of help to aid those who have learning difficulties, has evolved into a monster entitled mentality. Basically, if you have the money, you can hire someone to do anything for you, including doing the homework. (And apparently there is no shortage of tutors willing to do this). Why not hire someone to take your child's exam for you, while you're at it?
At JCs, I've heard it's increasingly common for parents to hire professionals to complete project work for their kids, some of which form part of the final grade. I find it difficult to believe that the teachers don't know or even suspect that this is going on. I guess it's easier to turn a blind eye, since the students' grades affect teachers' KPIs. There's a huge difference between not knowing and not wanting to know.
I find it ironic that the MOE claims to want to place an emphasis on values but do nothing to curb these unethical practices. The tuition industry is morphing out of control and yet MOE continues to remain mum. It frustrates me to no end.
I know MOE feels that they cannot regulate the tuition industry but I've told Sim Ann previously that by not speaking up and making a stand, MOE is actually condoning such practices - it's ok to coach your child into the GEP, it's ok to have your tutor do your homework for you. It's like telling your child stealing is bad and then doing nothing when rampant thefts take place.
The tuition industry did not just happen by accident. It is a direct result of an education system that obsesses over scores and systematically sieves children using this measure until only a few get the prize. Inevitably, there is a huge stampede for the prize. If you create a system that consistently rewards and hence, reinforces such behaviour, you cannot say you are not accountable for the backlash. I picture the MOE officials rolling their eyes and exclaiming, "All these kiasu parents!" and then washing their hands.
Newsflash: Pilate was culpable too.
I'm not saying the tuition industry should be regulated (I'm not sure you can, anyway). All I'm saying is MOE should make a stand openly that they frown on such practices because it is against their education philosophy, and hold any wrong-doers accountable. Then perhaps, parents and tuition centres will not flaunt these practices so openly.
According to reports, Singaporeans now spend about $820 million a year on tuition. Education has become a commercial enterprise and the problem with this, is that it only benefits those with resources. Want to close the rising income gap? Start with the tuition industry.
To me, the PSLE is the biggest contributor to this escalating insanity, but I'll probably address that another time.
Parent pays nearly $6,000 a month in tuition fees
Parents hire tutors do do kids school and tuition assignments
Kids take test to qualify for top tuition centres
From reading these articles, it would seem like yesterday's deplorable is actually mild by today's standards.
Yesterday: Kids mugging to qualify for top schools
Today: Kids mugging to qualify for top tuition centres
Yesterday: Parents hiring tutors to help their children do homework
Today: Parents hiring tutors to do their children's homework
In fact, as I write the last one, it has already become obsolete, replaced by a new normal:
Yesterday: Parents hiring tutors to do their children's homework
Today: Parents hiring tutors to do their children's tuition homework
So basically, we now need tuition to keep up with tuition? Am I the only one who thinks we have completely lost the plot?
The tuition culture has become so commonplace that even teachers have come to use it as a crutch. A friend of mine told me her son's Chinese teacher asked her to hire a tutor for kid. I've even heard an anecdote where a teacher asked the kids to get their tutors to check the homework before handing it up.
Andre's science teacher is probably an exception. She told me, "don't give him tuition! Sometimes they teach the wrong thing. I'll teach all that he needs to know." She's a lovely teacher and I obeyed. Well, sort of. Andre does have a science tutor - it's me. Does that count?
It really irks me how some of these tuition centres blatantly boast about the top scores of their students, when they do screening tests to take in only the top students in the first place. I might as well put birds in a cage and then claim that I taught them how to fly.
But what concerns me more is the type of values that are emerging from this tuition culture. What was once supposed to be a source of help to aid those who have learning difficulties, has evolved into a monster entitled mentality. Basically, if you have the money, you can hire someone to do anything for you, including doing the homework. (And apparently there is no shortage of tutors willing to do this). Why not hire someone to take your child's exam for you, while you're at it?
At JCs, I've heard it's increasingly common for parents to hire professionals to complete project work for their kids, some of which form part of the final grade. I find it difficult to believe that the teachers don't know or even suspect that this is going on. I guess it's easier to turn a blind eye, since the students' grades affect teachers' KPIs. There's a huge difference between not knowing and not wanting to know.
I find it ironic that the MOE claims to want to place an emphasis on values but do nothing to curb these unethical practices. The tuition industry is morphing out of control and yet MOE continues to remain mum. It frustrates me to no end.
I know MOE feels that they cannot regulate the tuition industry but I've told Sim Ann previously that by not speaking up and making a stand, MOE is actually condoning such practices - it's ok to coach your child into the GEP, it's ok to have your tutor do your homework for you. It's like telling your child stealing is bad and then doing nothing when rampant thefts take place.
The tuition industry did not just happen by accident. It is a direct result of an education system that obsesses over scores and systematically sieves children using this measure until only a few get the prize. Inevitably, there is a huge stampede for the prize. If you create a system that consistently rewards and hence, reinforces such behaviour, you cannot say you are not accountable for the backlash. I picture the MOE officials rolling their eyes and exclaiming, "All these kiasu parents!" and then washing their hands.
Newsflash: Pilate was culpable too.
I'm not saying the tuition industry should be regulated (I'm not sure you can, anyway). All I'm saying is MOE should make a stand openly that they frown on such practices because it is against their education philosophy, and hold any wrong-doers accountable. Then perhaps, parents and tuition centres will not flaunt these practices so openly.
According to reports, Singaporeans now spend about $820 million a year on tuition. Education has become a commercial enterprise and the problem with this, is that it only benefits those with resources. Want to close the rising income gap? Start with the tuition industry.
To me, the PSLE is the biggest contributor to this escalating insanity, but I'll probably address that another time.
"Data is not information, information is not knowledge, knowledge is not understanding, understanding is not wisdom." - Clifford Stoll
Kamis, 01 Maret 2012
"They will all die."
Andre's CA1 just ended. And if it's any indication of how much yelling is going to take place in my household, I should go offer my neighbours ear plugs right now.
The funny thing is even though I keep reminding myself (publicly on this blog as well) that I should not be overly kancheong this year, exam preparations with Andre inevitably send me into episodes of hyperventilation. I don't know why.
Ok, that's not entirely true, I do know why. It's because he has forgotten how to do a simple sum that he did with ease just a couple of months ago. Or is suddenly, inexplicably, unable to spell "business". Or, having been warned by me a hundred times that he cannot answer a science question with the dramatic statement, "They will all die", he goes ahead and writes this on a science paper: "They will all perish."
Somebody send a defibrillator to my house cos I might need it to resuscitate either Andre or myself before the year is over.
I apologise for sounding so depressing but it seems to me like we're spending the year just counting down to the PSLE, punctuated by a series of mind-numbing school exams. However, I'm trying to focus on the silver lining and right now, it's the fact that we're one exam down. Woohoo!
The period just after the exam is always great. You can put off thinking about the next exam ahead so there are no extra revision classes or frenetic swotting sessions to worry about. Andre had his friend over and they played, swam and horsed around. It's nice.
It's also during these periods that I have time to relax a little and re-calibrate my mindset. Most of you will not know this but late last year, I was interviewed for a US tv documentary called Dan Rather Reports. His crew was in Singapore to do a feature on the Singapore education and I was asked to be interviewed as a parent.
It wasn't broadcast in Singapore which I'm actually quite pleased about as I'm not crazy about how I look and sound on camera. But I will share one of the things I said on the show:
I know that when the next exam draws near, I'm likely to be transformed into ogre mum once again. But if in between the storms, I can take a step back and see again the big picture in its entirety, I believe it can save both Andre and me from plunging into the 'meaningless-study-until-burnout' abyss. Afterall, the last thing I want is for him to get into a fantastic secondary school only to find that he has lost both his appetite and stamina for learning.
So here's to the calm before the storm. It won't last but at least it's only 7 months before the big one blows over.
The funny thing is even though I keep reminding myself (publicly on this blog as well) that I should not be overly kancheong this year, exam preparations with Andre inevitably send me into episodes of hyperventilation. I don't know why.
Ok, that's not entirely true, I do know why. It's because he has forgotten how to do a simple sum that he did with ease just a couple of months ago. Or is suddenly, inexplicably, unable to spell "business". Or, having been warned by me a hundred times that he cannot answer a science question with the dramatic statement, "They will all die", he goes ahead and writes this on a science paper: "They will all perish."
Somebody send a defibrillator to my house cos I might need it to resuscitate either Andre or myself before the year is over.
I apologise for sounding so depressing but it seems to me like we're spending the year just counting down to the PSLE, punctuated by a series of mind-numbing school exams. However, I'm trying to focus on the silver lining and right now, it's the fact that we're one exam down. Woohoo!
The period just after the exam is always great. You can put off thinking about the next exam ahead so there are no extra revision classes or frenetic swotting sessions to worry about. Andre had his friend over and they played, swam and horsed around. It's nice.
It's also during these periods that I have time to relax a little and re-calibrate my mindset. Most of you will not know this but late last year, I was interviewed for a US tv documentary called Dan Rather Reports. His crew was in Singapore to do a feature on the Singapore education and I was asked to be interviewed as a parent.
It wasn't broadcast in Singapore which I'm actually quite pleased about as I'm not crazy about how I look and sound on camera. But I will share one of the things I said on the show:
"Sometimes when we're so caught up in the system, we don't see that in the larger scheme of things, all these things wouldn't really matter - which school you go to or which stream you were in and which subject you took. In the larger scheme of things, 20 years from now, would that really matter that much?I'm posting this is so I can remind myself again to keep a healthy perspective. (You don't have to tell me, it's strange to have to remind myself of something I said. What to do, I'm complicated.)
I think parents don't realise that it's a very different world we live in nowadays. Many of the careers that people are carving out for themselves, they didn't even exist ten years ago. So, I think we need to move out of this scarcity mindset... that and everything is dependent on what you do as a ten-year-old. It's not."
I know that when the next exam draws near, I'm likely to be transformed into ogre mum once again. But if in between the storms, I can take a step back and see again the big picture in its entirety, I believe it can save both Andre and me from plunging into the 'meaningless-study-until-burnout' abyss. Afterall, the last thing I want is for him to get into a fantastic secondary school only to find that he has lost both his appetite and stamina for learning.
So here's to the calm before the storm. It won't last but at least it's only 7 months before the big one blows over.
Jumat, 24 Februari 2012
Soup kitchen
Whenever we go to Ikea for lunch, Andre would inevitably ask for soup and meatballs. He loves the soup at Ikea, especially if it's broccoli. It got to a point where I thought, maybe we could try making it at home.
That started our adventures with soup. The first one was broccoli, based on a recipe I got online from All Recipes.
Few recipes are perfect at the first try but this one was. The whole family loved it and then it struck me, this is the ideal lunch option. Like most kids, Andre's least favourite food group is vegetables and it's hard to get him to eat more than a cursory spoonful of greens at mealtimes. By having broccoli soup, he's actually downing a whole bowl of veggies *muahahaha* and more importantly, willingly!
Now on a roll, we went on to experiment with pumpkin soup, another big hit. We brought it to a New Year's Eve dinner party and a friend polished off two bowls. It's a good seasonal choice for year end festivities.
Next, we tried mushroom soup. It's excellent, similar to the quality you get in restaurants, but since mushroom is not a veg, we don't make this one as often.
Lastly, we tried a tomato soup recipe and wowsers, this is Kenneth's and my favourite. I modified the original recipe quite a bit to include more veg and exclude any fancy equipment like food mills, but it still works. Tangy and flavourful.
What I've learnt from this whole exercise is that soups are not as difficult to make as you might think, and if you serve them as a meal, it's basically a one-pot event. (The washing up is another story though, since it involves the blender.)
We like to serve our soup with Delifrance hard rolls, which you can buy frozen, 6-in-a-pack from Cold Storage. After tasting these soups, we can never go back to the Campbells or Heinz canned soups. Even if you can overlook the sodium and preservative overloads, the flavours pale in comparison to the homemade ones.
I think it's too much to try and post all four recipes here, so I'll just give you a couple. I changed most of the recipes slightly. For example, I don't like buying cream as I never use it up, so any recipe with cream, I changed to milk. I also cut out any complicated steps. The broccoli soup however, is so good I didn't make a single alteration. So here's the link to the recipe. If you don't want to eat your vegetables, drink it!
And here's my recipe for my favourite, the tomato soup. Enjoy!
Tomato Soup
Ingredients:
4 cups chopped tomatoes
1 slice onion
4 cloves garlic
2 cups chicken broth (we use Swansons)
1 stalk celery, diced
1 small carrot, diced
2 tbsp butter
2 tbsp plain flour
1 tsp thyme or basil
1 tsp salt
2 tsp white sugar
Recipe:
1. Combine tomatoes, celery, carrots, onion, garlic and chicken broth in a pot.
2. Bring to a boil and gently simmer for about 20 minutes.
3. Remove from heat and puree mixture in a blender (careful - mixture is hot!)
4. In empty pot, melt butter over medium heat.
5. Stir in flour to make a roux and cook until medium brown.
6. Gradually whisk in tomato mixture, keep stirring to ensure no lumps form.
7. Add thyme or basil, sugar and salt.
That started our adventures with soup. The first one was broccoli, based on a recipe I got online from All Recipes.
Few recipes are perfect at the first try but this one was. The whole family loved it and then it struck me, this is the ideal lunch option. Like most kids, Andre's least favourite food group is vegetables and it's hard to get him to eat more than a cursory spoonful of greens at mealtimes. By having broccoli soup, he's actually downing a whole bowl of veggies *muahahaha* and more importantly, willingly!Now on a roll, we went on to experiment with pumpkin soup, another big hit. We brought it to a New Year's Eve dinner party and a friend polished off two bowls. It's a good seasonal choice for year end festivities.
Next, we tried mushroom soup. It's excellent, similar to the quality you get in restaurants, but since mushroom is not a veg, we don't make this one as often.Lastly, we tried a tomato soup recipe and wowsers, this is Kenneth's and my favourite. I modified the original recipe quite a bit to include more veg and exclude any fancy equipment like food mills, but it still works. Tangy and flavourful.
What I've learnt from this whole exercise is that soups are not as difficult to make as you might think, and if you serve them as a meal, it's basically a one-pot event. (The washing up is another story though, since it involves the blender.)
We like to serve our soup with Delifrance hard rolls, which you can buy frozen, 6-in-a-pack from Cold Storage. After tasting these soups, we can never go back to the Campbells or Heinz canned soups. Even if you can overlook the sodium and preservative overloads, the flavours pale in comparison to the homemade ones.
I think it's too much to try and post all four recipes here, so I'll just give you a couple. I changed most of the recipes slightly. For example, I don't like buying cream as I never use it up, so any recipe with cream, I changed to milk. I also cut out any complicated steps. The broccoli soup however, is so good I didn't make a single alteration. So here's the link to the recipe. If you don't want to eat your vegetables, drink it!
And here's my recipe for my favourite, the tomato soup. Enjoy!Tomato Soup
Ingredients:
4 cups chopped tomatoes
1 slice onion
4 cloves garlic
2 cups chicken broth (we use Swansons)
1 stalk celery, diced
1 small carrot, diced
2 tbsp butter
2 tbsp plain flour
1 tsp thyme or basil
1 tsp salt
2 tsp white sugar
Recipe:
1. Combine tomatoes, celery, carrots, onion, garlic and chicken broth in a pot.
2. Bring to a boil and gently simmer for about 20 minutes.
3. Remove from heat and puree mixture in a blender (careful - mixture is hot!)
4. In empty pot, melt butter over medium heat.
5. Stir in flour to make a roux and cook until medium brown.
6. Gradually whisk in tomato mixture, keep stirring to ensure no lumps form.
7. Add thyme or basil, sugar and salt.
Kamis, 16 Februari 2012
To the Bolero
For the past couple of weeks, I've been binging on Rachmaninov, Elgar and Dvorak. It's a journey of re-discovery of sorts, I've not given my classical music CDs time of day for years. I'm not sure why but in the past few years, my music repertoire has largely been pop. Perhaps I can blame it on the American Idol syndrome where everything has to be bite-sized and immediately accessible.
But ever since I moved house and acquired a new sound system in my office, I started revisiting my classical music CD collection... and it's been nice. It's stirring without being distracting - important for when I'm working.
The best part though, is that Lesley-Anne now enjoys listening to classical music with me. Being in the band CCA has a large part to play. Where she used to know about orchestral instruments only in theory, she now knows them by experience and this makes a world of difference. The music makes more sense to her and she's able to appreciate the performance.
I like that she's able to enjoy the music simply for what it is, without pretension. Too often, I find that there's a huge preconception about classical music and by association, classical music lovers ("snooty, "irrelevant", "boring" - take your pick). It's like there are people who listen to classical music... and then there's everybody else. So much so that it seems as if the onus is on classical music to justify why it's relevant in today's society.
I personally don't see why classical music needs to be apologetic. It's just there to be enjoyed by anyone who would give it a chance. Some people will never like it, some people won't try, it's ok. It's not the fault of classical music and it shouldn't therefore be dumbed down to the lowest denominator. You wouldn't dilute red wine with Ribena just so more people will find it palatable, would you?
Having said that however, it's always nice to see members of the classical music fraternity make an effort to make it more accessible. It's like sharing your favourite recipe or restaurant with a friend - "Here, try this. I hope you'll enjoy it."
What led me to this point was the fact that I was playing Ravel's Bolero one night and Lesley-Anne told me she remembered hearing it at an SSO concert I brought her to when she was probably about 7 or 8. She said it made an impression cos she was fascinated by the repeated melody.
For those who are not aware, Bolero is a very unusual orchestra work because it consists of only one melody that's repeated over and over until it reaches a climax. Funny how it's so addictive. It became Ravel's most well known work.
Lesley-Anne then alerted me to a flash mob of Bolero that was performed last year by the Copenhagen Philharmonic at Copenhagen Central Station. I searched for it on YouTube and by golly, it's the classiest flash mob I've ever seen. Both her question and mine though, was "how on earth did the timpani guy appear and disappear so quickly?"
Here, try this. I hope you'll enjoy it.
But ever since I moved house and acquired a new sound system in my office, I started revisiting my classical music CD collection... and it's been nice. It's stirring without being distracting - important for when I'm working.
The best part though, is that Lesley-Anne now enjoys listening to classical music with me. Being in the band CCA has a large part to play. Where she used to know about orchestral instruments only in theory, she now knows them by experience and this makes a world of difference. The music makes more sense to her and she's able to appreciate the performance.
I like that she's able to enjoy the music simply for what it is, without pretension. Too often, I find that there's a huge preconception about classical music and by association, classical music lovers ("snooty, "irrelevant", "boring" - take your pick). It's like there are people who listen to classical music... and then there's everybody else. So much so that it seems as if the onus is on classical music to justify why it's relevant in today's society.
I personally don't see why classical music needs to be apologetic. It's just there to be enjoyed by anyone who would give it a chance. Some people will never like it, some people won't try, it's ok. It's not the fault of classical music and it shouldn't therefore be dumbed down to the lowest denominator. You wouldn't dilute red wine with Ribena just so more people will find it palatable, would you?
Having said that however, it's always nice to see members of the classical music fraternity make an effort to make it more accessible. It's like sharing your favourite recipe or restaurant with a friend - "Here, try this. I hope you'll enjoy it."
What led me to this point was the fact that I was playing Ravel's Bolero one night and Lesley-Anne told me she remembered hearing it at an SSO concert I brought her to when she was probably about 7 or 8. She said it made an impression cos she was fascinated by the repeated melody.
For those who are not aware, Bolero is a very unusual orchestra work because it consists of only one melody that's repeated over and over until it reaches a climax. Funny how it's so addictive. It became Ravel's most well known work.
Lesley-Anne then alerted me to a flash mob of Bolero that was performed last year by the Copenhagen Philharmonic at Copenhagen Central Station. I searched for it on YouTube and by golly, it's the classiest flash mob I've ever seen. Both her question and mine though, was "how on earth did the timpani guy appear and disappear so quickly?"
Here, try this. I hope you'll enjoy it.
Jumat, 10 Februari 2012
Dreams & Reality
Last week, we made a trip down to the National Museum of Singapore to take a look at the Dreams & Reality art exhibition. It featured French and European masterpieces from Musee d'Orsay Paris.The exhibition is now over, so it's too late to visit it even if you want to, but it was pretty good so I thought it was worth recording the visit in a blog post.
I've always loved Western art, I even did an elective module on Art Appreciation in NUS. While the exhibition wasn't very big and didn't have the top-tier of famous paintings as say, in the Louvre, it was still pretty well represented in terms of the artists covered.
It was divided into different sections, which I won't go into it in detail since the exhibition is now over.
There were so many gorgeous paintings but Andre's favourite was this dark one, depicting the Franco-Prussian War of 1870-71. It's called The Enigma by Gustave Dore. What is it with guys and battlefields?
Lesley-Anne likes this one, called Going Fishing by Piet Mondrian. We've not heard of this artist but the painting has such as serene clarity that you can't help but be drawn to it.
Then there were all the big guns of Western Art.Camille Pissarro's Young Peasant Girl Lighting A Fire. Pissaro is one of the forerunners of Impressionism.
The Female Clown Cha-U-Kao by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec. To me, Toulouse-Lautrec is the circus guy.
A couple of Monets - this is Woman with a Parasol Looking to the Right.
This is Branch of the Seine near Giverny. This one is truly gorgeous up close.
Dancers Climbing a Staircase by Edgar Degas. If Toulouse-Lautrec is the circus guy, then Degas is the ballet dude.
Paul Cezanne's The Cardplayers. This is the emblematic painting for the exhibition, it's on the cover of all their collaterals. Like so many paintings, it looks so much richer and better in real life than on screen or print.
I've kept the best for last. This one was hung as a centrepiece of the main exhibition hall and it drew a huge crowd. Vincent Van Gogh's Starry Night. I can see why, in real life, this painting is unbelievably breath-taking. The colours are so saturated and vibrant, it packs a punch. The photo really doesn't do it justice.
It was very crowded and as it so happened, the museum was having an open house meaning there was free entry. It was a bonus for us, we weren't aware of this when we went. Luckily we arrived early because as we left, the queue to enter the gallery had snaked all the way up the stairs out the main entrance onto the carpark. Crazy!Anyway, the exhibition is now over but I fancy that our local museums are bringing in many more high quality shows these days, so do look out for them. Many of them are worth a visit.
Kamis, 02 Februari 2012
The true value of sports
It's time for the inter-school badminton tournament again and this is the last year Andre will be playing for his primary school team.
After 3 years of seeing Andre train and play, here's my conclusion:
Competitive sports is tough.
When parents first send their kids for training for any competitive sport, I'm sure many of them have big dreams. Maybe not as grandiose as grooming a national player but perhaps some image of sporting trophies or medals lining the bedroom shelf.
For some of course, these visions do become reality. But I've come to the realisation that for the majority, these are merely pipedreams. The Singapore sporting scene for kids has now become almost as competitive as the academic one, and many kids who start out playing because of the love for a sport simply don't have the resources or the time to invest in what has become necessary to be among the medal-worthy minority.
When Andre first started playing for the school team, we were cheering for them to win matches. Badminton, however, is not a niche sport for Andre's school so when this didn't take off, we revised our expectations downwards to just winning a couple of games in a match. Even that proved to be difficult.
Three years in a row, Andre's school has drawn to match up against the top primary school badminton team in Singapore. What are the odds? Even the coach was stumped. When Andre signed up for individual competitions, 4 out of 5 times, he's met seeded players or eventual winners of the tournament in the preliminary rounds, eliminating any chance of proceeding to the next stage.
Even though we know that in sports, you win some and you lose some, it's very disheartening to constantly be beaten down, especially by something as random as the luck of the draw. No matter how hard Andre trained or tried, he didn't seem to have very much to show for it, or to keep him encouraged. He grew to dislike competitions and would perform below his usual standards under pressure. When he lost, he would cry or mope and I was at my wit's end as to how to keep him motivated.
I struggled with this last year. I asked God, "why can't this child catch a break? Are you trying to tell us that we made the wrong decision in letting him pursue this sport?" I couldn't figure it out.
And then out of the blue this year, something changed. When Andre stepped up to play his first game against the top school (where he was matched up against the best player, no less), I noticed a spring in his step, a new-found confidence I never saw before. He faced his opponent, who was a whole head taller than him, unintimidated. He ran down every ball and played at a level unprecedented for him. He was demolished in the end, but to my surprise, he strode off the court smiling.
The teacher-in-charge turned to me and said, "You should be very proud of him."
To a bystander, it must have been an odd sight. There he was, having just lost the game and the coach was congratulating him on a job well done. But having coached him for 3 years, she recognised, as I did, that Andre had experienced some sort of breakthrough in his development.
It dawned on me: Andre was finally enjoying playing in a competition.
Sports is a school of hard knocks. It's not like a Hollywood inspirational movie where the underdog will eventually be crowned victorious after 2 hours, against all odds. Real life is not Hollywood - David doesn't always defeat Goliath, there isn't always light at the end of the tunnel. (Neither does love always conquer all nor truth always prevail, but that's another story). Basically, real life can be brutal.
Many kids train for a sport all of their school years and never make it even remotely close to the top. I've heard some parents make their kids take up the school's niche sport or pick more obscure sports to maximise their chances of winning, but I find it a little sad that even choosing a CCA has to be so calculated.
I don't want to rationalise. It's convenient to say God put Andre against all these tough opponents just to make him stronger but I can't say for sure. What I'm sure about though, is that you have to be prepared for the disappointment and the sacrifice. You have to lose so often that you become immune to it, that picking yourself up and trying again is, without thinking, the only option.
But even without planning for it, I cannot deny that badminton HAS made Andre stronger. On the court now, I see his tenacity, his drive, his intelligence, and it's wonderful to see his love of the game shine through. He belongs there. Even if he never wins another game, it's all good. That's the true value of sports.
And in reply to the terrifically supportive teacher-in-charge, I'm indeed proud of my son. Very much so.
After 3 years of seeing Andre train and play, here's my conclusion:
Competitive sports is tough.
When parents first send their kids for training for any competitive sport, I'm sure many of them have big dreams. Maybe not as grandiose as grooming a national player but perhaps some image of sporting trophies or medals lining the bedroom shelf.
For some of course, these visions do become reality. But I've come to the realisation that for the majority, these are merely pipedreams. The Singapore sporting scene for kids has now become almost as competitive as the academic one, and many kids who start out playing because of the love for a sport simply don't have the resources or the time to invest in what has become necessary to be among the medal-worthy minority.
When Andre first started playing for the school team, we were cheering for them to win matches. Badminton, however, is not a niche sport for Andre's school so when this didn't take off, we revised our expectations downwards to just winning a couple of games in a match. Even that proved to be difficult.
Three years in a row, Andre's school has drawn to match up against the top primary school badminton team in Singapore. What are the odds? Even the coach was stumped. When Andre signed up for individual competitions, 4 out of 5 times, he's met seeded players or eventual winners of the tournament in the preliminary rounds, eliminating any chance of proceeding to the next stage.
Even though we know that in sports, you win some and you lose some, it's very disheartening to constantly be beaten down, especially by something as random as the luck of the draw. No matter how hard Andre trained or tried, he didn't seem to have very much to show for it, or to keep him encouraged. He grew to dislike competitions and would perform below his usual standards under pressure. When he lost, he would cry or mope and I was at my wit's end as to how to keep him motivated.
I struggled with this last year. I asked God, "why can't this child catch a break? Are you trying to tell us that we made the wrong decision in letting him pursue this sport?" I couldn't figure it out.
And then out of the blue this year, something changed. When Andre stepped up to play his first game against the top school (where he was matched up against the best player, no less), I noticed a spring in his step, a new-found confidence I never saw before. He faced his opponent, who was a whole head taller than him, unintimidated. He ran down every ball and played at a level unprecedented for him. He was demolished in the end, but to my surprise, he strode off the court smiling.
The teacher-in-charge turned to me and said, "You should be very proud of him."
To a bystander, it must have been an odd sight. There he was, having just lost the game and the coach was congratulating him on a job well done. But having coached him for 3 years, she recognised, as I did, that Andre had experienced some sort of breakthrough in his development.
It dawned on me: Andre was finally enjoying playing in a competition.
Sports is a school of hard knocks. It's not like a Hollywood inspirational movie where the underdog will eventually be crowned victorious after 2 hours, against all odds. Real life is not Hollywood - David doesn't always defeat Goliath, there isn't always light at the end of the tunnel. (Neither does love always conquer all nor truth always prevail, but that's another story). Basically, real life can be brutal.
Many kids train for a sport all of their school years and never make it even remotely close to the top. I've heard some parents make their kids take up the school's niche sport or pick more obscure sports to maximise their chances of winning, but I find it a little sad that even choosing a CCA has to be so calculated.
I don't want to rationalise. It's convenient to say God put Andre against all these tough opponents just to make him stronger but I can't say for sure. What I'm sure about though, is that you have to be prepared for the disappointment and the sacrifice. You have to lose so often that you become immune to it, that picking yourself up and trying again is, without thinking, the only option.
But even without planning for it, I cannot deny that badminton HAS made Andre stronger. On the court now, I see his tenacity, his drive, his intelligence, and it's wonderful to see his love of the game shine through. He belongs there. Even if he never wins another game, it's all good. That's the true value of sports.
And in reply to the terrifically supportive teacher-in-charge, I'm indeed proud of my son. Very much so.
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take." ~ Wayne Gretzky, professional hockey player.
Jumat, 27 Januari 2012
Walking The Line
I know I've been a laggard in blogging. Sorry lah, it's CNY and my entire system has been in lockdown mode.
This CNY has been such a whirlwind affair, we've hardly begun to celebrate before it's over. To add to the excitement, Lesley-Anne came down with an unfortunate bout of food poisoning on CNY eve (which led to a 2am visit to a 24-hour doc for an anti-vomiting jab). Her new clothes and shoes remained untouched while she spent the two days of CNY in bed, eating porridge and ham sandwiches.
Incidentally, Lesley-Anne's Chinese zodiac fortune for this year read "The Water Dragon will be unfriendly to you." You don't say.
Anyway, she's feeling much better now and she had a chance to catch up on the feasting when my sister treated us to lunch at Shangri-la's celebrated buffet, The Line.
We're not frequent patrons of buffets as we don't have insatiable appetites, but it was a real treat. The Line is known for its spectacular spread - there's a Chinese, Indian, Western, Italian and Japanese selection, on top of the cold appetisers and of course, the impressive array of desserts.
We didn't sample all the stations. We simply zoomed in on our favourites, like the cold seafood. Crab claws, succulent prawns, raw oysters, mussels.
And sashimi, of course! As much salmon belly as you can eat.
The food was very fresh. We had too many helpings to count but the crowning glory has to be the dessert. This is one seriously awesome spread - makes you wish you were a cow just so you can have four stomachs!
Andre tackling the chocolate fountain.
Before conquering the ice-cream station. He had mango sorbet and raspberry sorbet with chocolate sprinkles, rainbow sprinkles, chocolate chips and gummy worms. I call it the hyperactive drive concoction.
Topping it all up with a foamy cup of cappuccino.
Kopi tarik and teh tarik for husband and wife.
Eating at the Shang is really very pleasant. It's surrounded by green and as we discovered, even the squirrels have acquired a taste for fine dining. We actually saw a couple run up and down the tables outside, foraging for leftovers.
Just a by the way but there's a chocolate carving of two dragons in the Shang lobby which I thought was mighty impressive.
Me and my fabulous sister!
This CNY has been such a whirlwind affair, we've hardly begun to celebrate before it's over. To add to the excitement, Lesley-Anne came down with an unfortunate bout of food poisoning on CNY eve (which led to a 2am visit to a 24-hour doc for an anti-vomiting jab). Her new clothes and shoes remained untouched while she spent the two days of CNY in bed, eating porridge and ham sandwiches.
Incidentally, Lesley-Anne's Chinese zodiac fortune for this year read "The Water Dragon will be unfriendly to you." You don't say.
Anyway, she's feeling much better now and she had a chance to catch up on the feasting when my sister treated us to lunch at Shangri-la's celebrated buffet, The Line.We're not frequent patrons of buffets as we don't have insatiable appetites, but it was a real treat. The Line is known for its spectacular spread - there's a Chinese, Indian, Western, Italian and Japanese selection, on top of the cold appetisers and of course, the impressive array of desserts.
We didn't sample all the stations. We simply zoomed in on our favourites, like the cold seafood. Crab claws, succulent prawns, raw oysters, mussels.
And sashimi, of course! As much salmon belly as you can eat.
The food was very fresh. We had too many helpings to count but the crowning glory has to be the dessert. This is one seriously awesome spread - makes you wish you were a cow just so you can have four stomachs!
Andre tackling the chocolate fountain.
Before conquering the ice-cream station. He had mango sorbet and raspberry sorbet with chocolate sprinkles, rainbow sprinkles, chocolate chips and gummy worms. I call it the hyperactive drive concoction.
Topping it all up with a foamy cup of cappuccino.
Kopi tarik and teh tarik for husband and wife.
Eating at the Shang is really very pleasant. It's surrounded by green and as we discovered, even the squirrels have acquired a taste for fine dining. We actually saw a couple run up and down the tables outside, foraging for leftovers.
Just a by the way but there's a chocolate carving of two dragons in the Shang lobby which I thought was mighty impressive.
Me and my fabulous sister!
Kamis, 19 Januari 2012
Festive feasting
We've be
en celebrating lots of 'firsts' in our new home and here's another - our first Chinese New Year.
It's always exciting to dress up a new home and this year, we've decided to go green. The red flowers are coxcombs, we bought them just because they looked so festive.
But more than just a new location, this CNY is different because my mother-in-law is living with us, meaning we get to see the CNY goodies being made (as opposed to previous years where we merely ate them, lol).
While we still buy most of the goodies, there are a few that my mil will faithfully make every year. Don't even think about asking her to buy them instead as none will be able to live up to her standards. Mind you, I'm not complaining!
Here she is, stirring the jelly. This jelly is a lot more work than the regular kind. Besides making the mixture, it needs to be sunned for several days to give it that crunchy texture.
Home-made pineapple tarts. If you've tried these, you'll never go back to the gummy, commercial ones.
Besides snacks, my mil also prepares specialty CNY foods, like these yam coins which will be pan fried with mushrooms during CNY.
But my favourite, hands down, is the carrot and pumpkin kueh. For the carrot kueh, radishes are grated...
... and then fried with meat and mushrooms.
These are then mixed with flour and put into large vats (these are the carrot kueh) and steamed.
Come CNY, the kueh will be sliced thinly and fried till crisp, then eaten with sweet sauce. This is our typical CNY breakfast and I love, love, love it, the pumpkin especially.
Andre's school badminton tournaments will take place just after CNY (who's crappy idea was that?) and the coach is already warning all the players to stay away from bak kua, soft drinks and prawn rolls.
I think she's fighting a losing battle. She needs to resign herself to the fact that she's gonna have a sluggish team on her hands. I've seen the kids - they love their food more than they love badminton.
Well, I reckon the little dragons are entitled to usher in their year with some festive feasting. Happy New Year, everyone and may the Dragon charge into your life bringing cheer and blessings!
en celebrating lots of 'firsts' in our new home and here's another - our first Chinese New Year.It's always exciting to dress up a new home and this year, we've decided to go green. The red flowers are coxcombs, we bought them just because they looked so festive.
But more than just a new location, this CNY is different because my mother-in-law is living with us, meaning we get to see the CNY goodies being made (as opposed to previous years where we merely ate them, lol).
While we still buy most of the goodies, there are a few that my mil will faithfully make every year. Don't even think about asking her to buy them instead as none will be able to live up to her standards. Mind you, I'm not complaining!Here she is, stirring the jelly. This jelly is a lot more work than the regular kind. Besides making the mixture, it needs to be sunned for several days to give it that crunchy texture.
Home-made pineapple tarts. If you've tried these, you'll never go back to the gummy, commercial ones.
Besides snacks, my mil also prepares specialty CNY foods, like these yam coins which will be pan fried with mushrooms during CNY.But my favourite, hands down, is the carrot and pumpkin kueh. For the carrot kueh, radishes are grated...
... and then fried with meat and mushrooms.
These are then mixed with flour and put into large vats (these are the carrot kueh) and steamed.
Come CNY, the kueh will be sliced thinly and fried till crisp, then eaten with sweet sauce. This is our typical CNY breakfast and I love, love, love it, the pumpkin especially.Andre's school badminton tournaments will take place just after CNY (who's crappy idea was that?) and the coach is already warning all the players to stay away from bak kua, soft drinks and prawn rolls.
I think she's fighting a losing battle. She needs to resign herself to the fact that she's gonna have a sluggish team on her hands. I've seen the kids - they love their food more than they love badminton.
Well, I reckon the little dragons are entitled to usher in their year with some festive feasting. Happy New Year, everyone and may the Dragon charge into your life bringing cheer and blessings!
Langganan:
Komentar (Atom)