Here's a little piece of my art

One day, Andre came home and told me, "I pity the p4s - they have to bring brushes, paint and newspaper this Friday."

"Why?" I asked, imagining the kids being tasked with some chore like painting a classroom.

"They have to do art."

It's a travesty but I managed to bear a son with an aversion to art. Maybe it's because it's yet another form of seatwork, something he obviously feels overshadows his life. His favourite subject in school, surprise surprise, is PE.

Last year, Andre found art tolerable in school because the teacher allowed them to draw cartoons all year round. In term 1 this year, his class was exposed to clay modelling, which he found quite fun. The kids were told to bring a photograph of themselves and use it to sculpt a clay model portrait.

This was Andre's self-portrait:

It's no masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination but still mildly acceptable. That is, until he was told to paint it. Then suddenly, the self-portrait metamorphosised into a grinning Kermit.

I also noticed that the smile had widened from the original, the nose had completely disappeared and one corner of the slab had broken off. Clay doesn't travel well, especially when squashed in a schoolbag.

"Why on earth did you paint yourself green??" I asked, wondering if he had secret Hulk fantasies.

"It's the only colour in my poster paints that I have a lot of."

Pragmatism over realism.